Ruminating, like a cow

In a comment to my last post, Isabelle asked how I found time to work, look after a house, and do all this quilting. Isn't that lovely? It made my day, because I think I am underachieving and lazy. I spend an enormous amount of time doing bugger all (as we say in Australia) or wasting time on the internet or wandering around shopping malls looking at pretty shiny things and having coffee. I only work three days a week, I only have two children who are at school most of the time, and the house .... well, let me tell you about the house. The house is superficially in order (thank you fortnightly cleaning lady) and deep down a screaming disaster. Linen cupboard seriously needs a turn out.

This is the bottom of number one son's wardrobe - although if there is a power on earth that can keep the room of a ten-year old boy tidy I would like to know about it. So I don't feel too slovenly about that one.

This drawer however, it's THE DRAWER, everyone has one, crap goes in it - this is my problem. Although looking at it closer, most of this litter is my husband's. Mmmmmm....

Most shameful of all, this is the vegie patch! Don't look Dad (he built them for us, and we have a lot of successes in summer, but we are always less motivated to do a winter crop). This is the worst bed, the others are a bit better, but this is just plain slack.

So I spend most of my days mentally marking myself as "could try harder". Why do we do this? You'd think I would be more relaxed after last year's cancer and Brush With Mortality but I think it's made it worse. That made me realise that, actually, my life won't really amount to much on any kind of scale - my scratch on the granite face of the universe is shallow and will be overwritten by many others within a few short decades after my death. Which, strangely, makes me cross that I don't have perfect cupboards.

This is when my brain started hurting, so I asked Zelda the World's Fattest Cat my philosophical questions. She said the only important things are heat and food, and could I please turn the heater on and feed her.