Sunday, December 8, 2013

Oh no, swimwear

Does anyone ever go "yay!!! swimwear!!!" I don't think I ever did, even when I wasn't fat and middle aged. It's all so traumatic ... and don't get me started on mastectomy swimwear, apparently boobless women are all 95 years old and completely without taste (although fortunately they do make them up to quite enormous sizes). But I have reached an accommodation with swimwear because I love the water.  And I have realised that it is OK to cover up, and it means you don't have to suncream the vast pale acres of thigh and upper arm, saving both time and money :)

The only problem is the limited options in my size - very boring, mostly plain colours, and ridiculously expensive. When I was in NZ at the beginning of last year I bought a wonderful blue swim top with flowers all over it - but it is starting to perish. My swim tops have a hard life and tend to die young. The photo was at Waterbom at Jakarta last year - such a cool waterpark, and such a fun holiday ... I look like I'm drowning number two son but he was fine, really.

So, last week I ordered some swimwear lycra on-line, drafted a pattern off the flowery top and made myself another three ... didn't bother neatening the seams or doing anything fancy. The neckbands on all three have that dodgy home-made look where they stick up rather than sitting flat ... but I don't care. I thought I would get better by the third one but if anything they were getting worse!

But for $10 worth of fabric and a half-hour sewing time I think they will do absolutely fine. I haven't actually worn them in the surf yet but I will report back any instances of split seams or bizarre sagging. I think the hibiscus print is my favourite but I also did an abstract number.

And some other flowers. Do you like my hand-on-hip photo stance? My NZ nieces are at the age where they dress up in little frocks and go out and get photographed at bars, that then go on the bar's facebook page ... yes, I know, very strange. I'm glad no-one was photographing me when I was out on the town (back in the Jurassic). Anyway, the hand on the hip thing slims your waist! A bit. Apparently. Maybe they can teach me to do a convincing duckface.


  1. Well, I'm very impressed (mind you, you always impress me).

    And I agree about Christmas decs - have to be tasteless. I like taste at other times of year, but nostalgia, tat and a bit of glitter for the tree.

    Mind you, it has to be a real tree.... Pretend ones don't smell right or drop needles to stick in your socks.

  2. Middle age has brought me a new appreciation for "Rash" shirts, which is what we call surfer's shirts in at least my part of the USA. I needed mine for sun protection, but love it for it's ability to keep my son's arm from going down the front of my swimsuit all the time.

    I've been able to buy mine at surf shops at the end of summer for a reasonable price. Might be worth checking into when your summer starts to wrap up.